Self Hate & The Truth about Colorism: The Hidden Levels of Blackness

AlightAAhhh Yes. This was a long time coming. It’s School Daze all over again. Light Skint Vs. Dark Skint. Real Nigga Vs. Black Guys like me. Jokingly it is very funny and I have no problem with the jokes,but it is when people actually feel this way about each other. Imagine being me for a day growing up. Yes I’m light Skint and I’m proud. Does that comes with any benefits? Yes. Honestly it does. I’m not going to lie about it. There is a lot of cocky arrogant Light Skint Brothas who have a lot of self hate about themselves. Problem is when a Light Skint Brotha is cocky, he gets called all kind of bad names. When a darker Brotha does it, it’s ok!  But somehow in todays Black culture Light Skint has been labeled weak or frail. Nevermind that Muhammed Ali, Huey Newton, Malcolm X, William Alexander Leidesdorff are all Light Skint. But because of the Drakes, The Chris Browns, The Steph Currys, The Klay Thompsons, The Yung Bergs, We are critiqued for their actions. We can’t let them speak for an entire race of people, right? By today’s standards we are not labeled as strong. The “They’re not one of us.” mentality has got to stop.
There are a lot of people of different backgrounds who genuinely want to help the Black community. I say this because is it possible to forgive someone who was a racist? Is it wrong to label all white people as bad or evil? Of course it is. Not every Black person is named Jaquita or La’Shawn right? If we as black people do not want to be stereotyped than shouldn’t we do the same thing? It is tricky depending on where you live but one of my greatest philosophies that I live by is this: “Never judge someone off of a first impression.. You don’t know what that person is going through that day.”





niggers.png I get called NIGGER the same way as my darker counterpart. Light Skint people within the African-American community has been the laughing-stock. Would you tell Malcolm X that “That is some Light Skinned shit?” So does being Dark Skint gives you a pass for certain actions or vice versa? I would be oblivious to think or to say that colorism within our own community doesn’t exist. It sure in the fuck does. Black comes in different shades. Different Hues. But we are constantly labeled. (I mean WE as black people.) Growing up I wished that I could be called light-skinned American instead of African-American. Truth be told I’m glad I didn’t harbor those feelings into adulthood. White Boy, High Yella, House Nigga, Massah’s Boy, Uncle Tom etc. The shit didn’t bother me for the longest time. Until today.
We All come in different colors



It’s a challenge to be me sometimes. Supporting black businesses, reading about lost black history, dating within my race, dating outside of my race. Black community are fearful it seems of homosexuality, not being a Christian, not identifying with a lot of common stereotypes, other races, crying, seeing a therapist and not conforming to the status quo. It is taboo. So if I don’t like Pigs feet, or Chiterlins, am I not Black? If I don’t like basketball am I not Black? If I played the guitar and like Lacrosse, am I not Black? If I don’t date a black woman am I not black? (In a lot of people’s eyes, Yes) I love black women but do they love me? Let’s use my life for example before we go any further. I’ve been trying to date black women but for a lot of ladies that I’ve encountered, my lifestyle didn’t fit them. I am a single father of 3 kids and 2 of them are autistic. Not one black lady is knocking at my door to help me raise my children or start a new family. I don’t smoke weed, I don’t go to clubs, I don’t hang out on the block, I don’t do any drugs, I don’t watch B.E.T., I don’t like being in big crowds at times, but some how, black culture deems that soft, or deems that weird. “Oh Tareau, you’re not hood enough. You’re not a real nigga!” So if you are constantly told this by numerous of women you encountered, what would you do? You shouldn’t have to change who you are to please some one. And no these aren’t the unfortunate hood rat girls that are constantly a large misrepresentation of black women. Some of these were college educated women, entrepeneurs etc. Granted these women do not make up all of black women. It would be ignorant to label everyone like that. I have even thought of moving to where there are more black women. I’ve searched high and low believe me, but I haven’t found it. When I date outside of my race, a lot of Black women from my past gets upset. The same ones who weren’t giving me any time. At the end of the day, you love who you love. When I see a white man with a black woman I don’t care nor do I have any ill will. I don’t care honestly who a stranger is dating. Maybe that’s just in my twisted head but I think if we look at the big picture, we will stop self imploding each other from within. I once was told by my ex that I need to change to understand Black women better. This stemmed from an argument about hair. She had beautiful dreadlocks, long great smelling, healthy locks, and she asked my how I would feel if she cut them and got a weave. I personally do not like weaves. They freak me out. I told her exactly what I just told you guys. All hell broke loose. I told her that it’s her hair and at the end of the day I will miss her locks, but Weaves gross me out. (Just by the fact that it’s not your hair) She then went off on me. Boy she let me have it. So here we have one of the most beautiful hair style within the African culture (dreadlocks) and I showed dismay because she wanted to cut them off for this…..


 In todays cultural accepting world (or lack thereof) there is a fight within the fight. Almost every race has different shades to them but us as black people project those differences with either hate or love. An example of hate is Yung Bergs Dumbass comments. An example of Love would be on the movie Precious where Gabourey Sildibe professes her love for a light-skint man in a fantasy.  “My name is Clarice Precious Jones. I want to be on the cover of a magazine. I wish I had a light-skinned boyfriend with good hair. But first I want to be in one of those BET videos, and we see a fantasy sequence of her dressed in a photo-shoot, accompanied with a light-skinned boyfriend (who will be in all her future movie sequences.) She also says I ‘m gonna break through, someone is going to break through to me, ima be normal and sit in the front of the class.”  And her being a darker skinned lady, It’s never a dual equality on the color spectrums of being black. I remember listening the late Notorious BIG’s ex-wife talk about Biggie being “color Struck” in an interview. Saying after her, his women were all lighter (Lil Kim, Charli Baltimore, and Faith Evans) Nina Simone who was a beautiful chocolate complexion, was played by Zoe Saladana. Although Zoe is bi-racial, Hollywood racially type casted her to play the great Nina Simone. Was not Ledisi available?  Here’s another example. President Barack Obama is the 1st African-American President, right? Some people says things like “Well would he have won if he was darker?” or “He’s not a real nigga!” Truth be told does any of that matter? I’m no die-hard Barack Obama fan but if that’s the case why aren’t people voting for Herman Cain or Ben Carson? They are darker than I am but some how if we are going to name call, we should do it right, right? I rarely hear my fellow dark-skinned brethren call those 2 gentleman names but are constantly attack our President’s white lineage. Brothas and Sisters we can’t control our skin color, parents, race, or lineage. We are doing Willie Lynch’s job for him. Today We should be able to not give in to such stereotypes, but we are constantly challenging each other for the reins of our Negro Kingdom.
I share with you my thoughts because the future of our children are misled. I wish at times everyone was like my twin sons who are autistic. On the spectrum there is no racism, there is no colorism, there is no religion. It’s just their world. They don’t have a clue that they are black. (or half) do you think I care? Hell no. Do you think they care? Hell no. I realize that this will never stop. I am only sharing with you my experiences in my lifetime and my views on things. You can totally disagree with everything I just said. At least you would know that I respect the agree to disagree statement. I said all this because one day my daughter who is bi racial will not have to question her ethnicity. I am trying to lay the foundation down to prevent an identity crises. I can’t control how she looks. Family members who I don’t talk to would say “she doesn’t look black at all!” Granted she does favor her mother (mother was Salvadoran) but that right there will give you a complex on who you are. Will the Black community accept her? Will the Latino community accept her? I thought this through and through and the answer is no. No to both. but that doesn’t mean she can’t be carefree and live a great life. She knows about racism and colorism. But does she know about this world that is hidden in plain sight? I think we know the answer to that……….


    • Thank you for reading. Like I was telling Dave, I think because the bay areas black population is less than 10% so we aren’t privy to the cream of the crop of our race

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great post. I just watched, ‘Good Hair’, the documentary by Chris Rock. What you said about your ex really stands out with that movie still in my head. The psychology and emotion behind every point you made is deeper than deep.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a great movie. I seriously think that our people need to stop trying to Eurocentric themselves. Skin Bleaching, Weaves, contacts, blonde hair etc. What’s crazy to me is I think most women look better before they do all that stuff (see nicki minaj pre 2008) “Dear White People.” I felt compelled to write that post due to this recent division of “light vs dark.” Although this has been going on fire centuries, I felt the need to say something. I understand both sides but in all honesty it’s slave mentality. Obviously there are stereotypes within the contrast of blackness but when people say things like ” Ohh it’s because I’m light skint” or ” I don’t date dark skint women” that’s the shit that has me scratching my head.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I agree on the Nikki pre 2008! In entertainment unfortunately, the fear of stepping away from the’script’ is strong as it ever was. Big money’s involved, contracts, renewal of contracts- all contingent on maintaining the suppression of truth.

        When people are that tied up in physical appearance, for me it speaks to a deeper insecurity about true identity. We’ll never break through the illusion of a ‘one type of beauty’ model until we realize we’ve been sold a fake bill of goods. There’s room enough on this earth for every kind of beauty, but one side is fearful of what the acknowledgment would do and the other fears self-acceptance And reclaiming their rightful inheritance.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a powerful piece of writing addressing time-old issues which date back unfortunately to slavery as you say in your comment above. These ideas and concepts are hard to “drop” and eradicate from the Black person’s experience. Rooted in slavery and now ingrained in the minds of current Black society it’s going to take a sea-change in mind-shift to see ourselves as people and not a skin colour. WE ARE NOT A SKIN COLOUR. The white slavers have this hold over us right to the present day. Such evil permeates every corner of the African/American, African/Caribbean, African/British, African/European experience from “good hair” (I hate that terminology even though I have this type of hair) skin colour, perception of beauty … I could go on. How do we move past this to embracing all that we are, all that we have, all that we know, all that we can be? We need to start with our children. Educating them to know that no matter what shade of black they are, what type of hair they have, who their parents are: they are loved and valued and not an extension of the afterthoughts of enslavement. It’s a huge task. Are we up to it? I say: YES WE ARE.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In my twisted head, I wish we could have a world wide meeting somewhere and talk about all these issues. The Willie Lynch mentality is stronger than ever today. Jokingly I understand it and think it’s funny (as a comedian with a crazy sense of humor) but it’s when there is no comedic platform. I’ve been called hi yellow my whole life and it doesn’t bother me. I think it’s funny actually. But I hate the prejudged mentality I get. “Oh he’s a light skint brotha so blah blah blah.” We have to accept our hues and contrasts of black and support each other. Like I said in the post there are stereotypes within those hues that aren’t jokes. (A la the Yung Berg comment) We also have to factor in the shallow preferences people have with skin color today. “Oh I want a dark skint black man!” Or “I like light skinned girls because of their hair!” That type of mentality kills me. It just feels like right now, ignorance is dominating education.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is what I mean about the sea-change in our way of thinking. As long as Black people keep these remnants from enslavement current, wanting a dark skinned black man, or light-skinned girl because of their hair, which suggests that your value and your worth are tied up in the colour of your skin or the silky type of hair you have because your perception of what is beautiful is somehow linked to the white man’s standard of beauty we will never progress. We need to see that these measures of what is acceptable is based on our captive ancestry. Well done for writing this post. You’ve tackled a highly emotive subject with great sensitivity and thought. When are we going to meet up and have this world meeting with all us brothers and sisters? I think you ought to arrange it Tareau – soon! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the insights. Hahahah as far as the meeting I will be transporting brothas and sistas back and forth being a bus driver and all. I’m not good at arrangements hahahahahahah. I’ll get there early but you know CPT will make me wait. I started to follow Dr. Boyce Watkins, blavity, and a few other positive channels on YouTube. There’s alot of great powerful minds within our community and I would love to be a fly on the wall to hear what everybody has to say and do. I just wished black businesses were better accessible.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Good piece! We are colonized minds. It is going to take a long while to overcome the stratification of color in our community. That’s the name of the game everywhere. There are higher order whites (Aryan, English) and lower order ones (Irish, Jewish) – distinguished by skin color, hair, eyes. The same goes for Asians: the Chinese and Japanese are higher valued and lighter skinned than the Vietnamese or Koreans. The same holds for Latinos: Colombians and Cubans are higher valued and lighter skinned, while Dominicans and Puerto Ricans are not valued as much and darker skinned. There is colorism among Native Americans whereby the Iroquois are lighter skinned and “better” than the darker skinned Pequots and Cherokees. White supremacy and anti-blackness structure ALL groups, not just black folks. Colorism is just more pronounced and visible in the black community because we are black and get used as scapegoats for everything. And the fact that we were enslaved makes a difference too. But this is the name of the game more generally.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow what a great post for our ladies of color! Its even more powerful coming from a black male! I am the father of three children, two girls and one son. One daughter is light, and one is dark. My son is somewhere in between the two. I literally cringe saying that because I’ve never wanted to add to the issue of colorism by describing the spectrum of my children’s skin color, but nevertheless black society seems to force you into it. I’ve constantly had to reassure my darker skinned daughter that she is beautiful PERIOD (she actually is btw, and it has nothing to do with her skin color), because as a child she did not feel like she was beautiful. I can only attribute this to her social surroundings: school, neighborhood, even some extended family, that made her aware of her dark skin, and that her blackness was a negative trait rather than, well just that a trait. Moreover, its condescending to stress that “being dark” in itself is beautiful, because I have a light skinned daughter (whose equally as beautiful) who may take that as meaning she’s less beautiful because she’s NOT dark skinned. My son, on the other hand, could care less about how dark or light he is lol. Thanks again for the post!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s