Here we are in 2016. Some things has changed for the better. Some for the worst. Can we unanimously agree that women today have more rights and power than they ever had in the history of mankind? I think the answer is Hell Yes. Now before I divulge into this next article I want to openingly state: I AM NO FEMINIST. I honestly think that feminism only benefits White and Asian Women, while women of color are well, still colored. (“Ain’t I a Woman?” Thanks Isabella Baumfree) If you do not know, Black women have always been the forefront of gender equality, equal pay, rights, etc but they were always tasked to make the difficult decision: Do I choose my sex or my race? The answer will always be Race. It’s kind of synonymous with the whole transgender issue today. I as a black man can wake up tomorrow and say “I want to be a woman and treat me as such!” but I will still be a black woman. You can change your gender, never your race folks. Remember Gay, Straight, Trans, has no “LOOK” anymore. I use this example because I need people to understand where I am coming from. Do I believe in a woman leader? Yes. Do I belive in equal pay? Yes. Do I believe that a Woman can do all the things that I can do? 99% Yes. The 1% no comes from well BIOLOGY. It’s my job as a Black Man to be aware of my surroundings in these days of cultural unrest here in the United States. I don’t trust anyone else with this task of awareness like I do my own kind. I don’t care if I was married to a bad ass chick like a Pam Grier or a Ronda Rousey, If some shit pops off somewhere, I as a man need to get you to safety. If there is a disaster somewhere, It’s my primitive duty to make sure the “Women and children are safe 1st.” That is not to say that a woman is not stronger than me, or has less poise under pressure, or any of those things. Not at all. But we can’t fight biology. If the Titanic was sinking, how could I as a man have a mind-set of neutrality. I can’t do it. I can’t morally leave some women behind and say that we are all equal. Sorry can’t do it. Wont do it. So with this opening monologue coming to an end I want you to go into this with just my mind frame, read the article, then re-read it with your mind frame and see where we differ. Enjoy
Ask any woman in any male dominated profession and they will tell you that they love it. The camaraderie, the bond, the passion. Ask them also if they men had to change anything to accommodate them, the answer will most likely be no (except for lady arrangements for you know uh that time of the month.) I’ve worked with dozens of women in the different types of jobs I’ve had in my life. Police, Security, Carpentry, Delivery, Warehousing, Printing, Dispatching, Bus Driving, Homemakers, and entrepeneurs. Ask them also who has been their biggest detractors, some would answer women in opposing fields. What I noticed in my experiences, is that it takes a tough, blue-collar woman to be in a male dominated career field, you can’t have thin skin. You have to work 5 times harder than your male counterparts just to stay afloat. It’s the old saying “There’s no crying in baseball” type of mentality. When I would get approached by policecwomen when I was younger, I would never be scared for my life. I knew that they were professionals ( me being a minority as well, women officers are minorities within their own kind, they can kind of empathize with us right.) I knew if I was in the wrong that that was the end of it. Speeding, making an illegal turn etc. I never once feared for my life while a femal officer was in control. But i also knew that she was in control and to not get out of line. It was always “Sir I pulled you over for blah blah blah.” instead of their male counterparts saying things like “Where’s the drugs, are you on parole etc” Anyways, I use to date a hair dresser who by traditional standards would be labeled a “Girly Girl” (Lets call her Lily) Lily would often ask me about the women bus drivers in my career and how she and her friends thought it was disgusting that women were doing a “Mans” job. I would tell Lily that there are great women that I work with who are way better drivers than I am. LOL, She didn’t care. Lily would make fun of women who she thought was a “butch” or “bull dyke” or “blue-collar.” Now I understand that Lily and her friends were all in this same type of career. Surgeons, Skin care consultants, Pilates instructors. (All which can be easily synonymous with health and beauty, right?) I also understand that Lily and her friends does not speak for all women but just a smaller percentage. She was the type of lady who had a lot of pink stuff, and everything was cute to her. She often would be very condescending to women that had blue collar jobs. “Ewwww” she would say when I would tell her how hard these ladies were working. It really made me question something about today’s American woman. There would be times when I asked Lily and friends wanted to watch WNBA and she would say “No I don’t. It’s boring and the girls are not cute!” Wow. Isn’t that the same sentiments that men would generally have about the sport? Lily’s friend would sometimes complain how their male counterparts in their own respective careers would harass them or how they were not paid like the men in their careers as well. In my head I am honestly laughing. Here you have a group of women from different races and backgrounds, all between 35-45, Married, divorce, kids, widowed, All with long hair, collagen, Botox, implants, surgeries, complaining about wage disparity? Not knowing that one of the reasons the WNBA players are grossly underpaid is because their own doesn’t even support their brand. (See a few sentences ago) So if a WNBA player makes about $50k average salary a year, and a NBA players average salary is now $900k, whose fault is that? Women don’t even watch the WNBA but the same women who don’t even watch the WNBA is complaining about wage disparities?? (I hope you can since the sarcasm as I’m typing)
Anyways, (hahahahahahahhahaah)Is there a division within that us men don’t know about? (CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG, LADIES) The answer is Yes. Yes there is. I realize that certain women sometimes do not hang out with another type of woman. It also made me wonder about the traditional roles vs modern roles. What justifies what a “Real Woman” is? Is it based of off preference? Income? Popularity? Vanity? Status? Easy answer folks. All of these above and then some. As a man and a father of a tween daughter, I know that women mature way faster than a man does. (Biology people.) However there is certain things that I can’t teach her that only a woman can. (Biology duh) What I can teach her is about being comfortable from where she fits in at in this world. Because of women trailblazers before her, she can enter the workforce when she is older and work comfortably knowing there will be women just like her there to help. However, I do have to teach her about what strength from within is and to have to confidence to not get deterred if she’s around the opposite sex a lot. I know I know, ladies. Sometimes working with men can be damn right intimidating. It’s the truth. We can be. The shit talking, the farting, the belching, the cursing, but that’s what a man’s mans is. It’s an acquired taste by todays standards, right?
I talked earlier in this article about WNBA and NBA salary disparities. I want to give you some stats real quick to enhance my point. This past Olympics the Men’s & Women’s Basketball team won the Gold medal. The Women’s team beat their opponents by an average of 37 points (Setting a record by beating Senegal by 65 points) while the Men had an average of 23 points in their wins. (Almost losing 3 times) Throughout these Olympic games, all anyone could talk about was how lousy the men where. No one acknowledged the women. Not even Women. SMH. Like I mentioned earlier, I am no feminist and as you know I do watch when I can (see previous articles) but come on people, We can’t turn a blind eye to these types of things anymore. Blowing a team out by 65 points should be the talk of the town in basketball lore, not barely beating a French team without Tony Parker.
Now with this I might get backlash but I don’t give a shit honestly. I want to talk about equality again. And I constantly sue my experiences because that’s what I know best. Ladies, How can a lady be independent when she get so much help? What I mean by that is, The same type of aid a lot of women get, I as a single BLACK father is not privy too. Food Stamps, Cash Aide, Alimony, WIC (Women Infant & Children not Men Infant & Children), HUD , Section 8 vouchers, I’ve applied for all of these and I am either over qualified or they don’t have any resources available for “My” situation. Let a lady in MY same SITUATION walks in and she gets it all. Where is the equality there? There are no homeless men shelters r single fathers. So we can’t complain about Equality when it only benefits women. What about men? If we are equals where’s my help. I would love to be able to get child support or cash aide and brag about how independent I am. Its kind of like that Cougar life dating commercial. The young lady was criticizing the nerdy computer programmer but when the lady who was the COUGAR came on she said “But you fold clothes for a living!” to the young lady. That’s exactly how I feel a lot of the times with this whole gender equality stuff. How can you criticize someone or something when do not have your shit together? You ready to be a little more upset with me? A man can make a woman his queen, take her from being a waitress to a Hollywood starlet, and when he leaves her she will be financially abled for the remaining of her years. A woman (Except Oprah) can not do that.
Look if Flavor Flav was able to have sex with all these beautiful women, could a woman who looks like Flavor Flav do the same thing? Could Star Jones have sex with a lot of young men from different colors and get them a Clothing line, A lip gloss line etc? Didn’t New York have a reality dating show? Uh-Huh and What happened to the men on that show? We don’t remember them. But we remember Deelishes, We remember Bucky, We remember New York etc. And I understand that is a bad example because it’s reality TV. Another example. A few years ago LA Clippers All-Star Point Guard Chris Paul came under fire for criticizing female Referee Lauren Holtkamp. She gave him a Technical foul for wanting to take the ball out faster. Ms. Holtkamp is known for making bad calls and she is no Violet Palmer. The media and soft ass, politically correct ESPN tried to do a segment saying that “Chris Paul shouldn’t have said what he said.” I as a NBA connoisseur was mad that he should have to apologize. If you don’t want to be yelled at, then the job might not be about you. If you don’t recall Violet Palmer was a great official and even checked Rasheed Wallace when he was playing and had the respect of the league. unfortunately Ms Holtkamp does not and the Women pundits of the sport sided with her when CP3 yelled at her. (Hmmmmmm Violet Palmer is Black and MS. Holtkamp is White but nevermind hahahahahahahahaha see earlier paragraphs about women’s suffrage. Where was the women rallying for Violet Palmer, Oh wait she didn’t need it)
So lets use a thought-provoking example. One of our Presidential Candidates is Hilary Clinton correct? Who is her husband? Who is Donald Trumps wife? I’ll wait. No need you know the answer people. We can’t sit here and say that things are so unfair for women all the time without acknowledging the flip side. There is no way a Woman can have a Be much elder than her immigrant husband who was a model, right (Sarcasm) Keep in mind I am shaking my head laughing as I am typing this. Lets acknowledge these hidden truths folks. We both know the backlash women get when they are involved in a cheating scandal or rape and sexual assualt cases. I whole hardely have the mindframe of innocent until proven guilty in those cases. 2 sides to the story. But I acknowledge also how some women gets bad labels in scandals as well. If Hilary Clinton had a yong man perform oral sex on her (EWWWWWWW Tareau) while being president (in 1996 time frame) would she be a celibratity a la her husband? No she wouldn’t. Hoe, Skank Jezeebel, Harlot, Home Wrecker are some of the bad names that get thrown around when involved with a cheating scandal, right? So please don;t conclude this piece by hating me (the player) hate the Game (*society*) And let’s go back to what I’ve always said and what I stand for:
Yes I am for equal rights, Yes I want equal pay for all, Yes I believe in modern lifestyles, Yes I am for Women leaders. But I want women to acknowledge flip side of things. Don’t just throw the equality card when it benefits you. Much Love
Very nice! I agree, we as black woman, are a special case altogether when it comes to the Feminist Movement.
Anyway, as for the workplace, I’ve been pretty lucky to work with men that always had my back.
Outside of work, I like for a man to be the man.
I have a black belt in Taekwondo but I still expect my man to do as you said and move me to safety if “something pops off.” LOL!!
Well done Tareau 🙂
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Thank you for reading. Yea it’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Especially in the work place. I honestly feel that about the whole feminist movement though. See even you as a black belt in taekwondo would agree. But it’s not to speak down amongst women it’s just to point out certain things.
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Very interesting! It’s always informative to get a man’s view point and this has opened my eyes to quite a few things. You have covered so much ground about equality from hairdressing right through to sport and the receipt of benefits. I think the reason why women will be seen to be benefitting more is because they are the ones that tend to be the caregiver for their children. Historically men have always been the ones to start the procreation process (intentionally or unintentionally) and then leave the woman to rear the child. I do empathise with you on being a male single parent and feeling hard done by because the benefit system seems to favour the female. You have spoken about so much that I too would have to write an essay to address all the points you make which I sadly on this occasion do not have time to do.
Please don’t be offended, but I would have enjoyed reading this more if it hadn’t all been in CAPS. CAPS are not so easy on the eye when reading such a large piece of writing. Now I’m going to go away and put some cucumber on my eyes to rest them .lol
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Lmfao, cucumbers? Hahahahaha. Thank you for reading. Yes it’s the WordPress app that leaves my posts in CAPS. I wish you did write an essay regarding each point. I love debate and dialogue. I think women can do 95% things men can do. Not being sexist or chauvinistic but biologically speaking ya know. Men, we can’t produce estrogen but women can produce both testosterone and estrogen. Men we can’t bare children, nor provide children with milk etc. Women have lower centers of gravity and genetically stronger lower bodies, due to be designed to carry children, water weight etc. I wrote this because I was thinking (in my experience only) that a lot of women don’t support other women and I was confused. It’s something us MEN will never understand. At times it feels like 2 Queens can’t get along. But when they do get along, it’s never glorified. Look at reality shows. One of the biggest down falls to women’s rights. Look at the magazines telling these young ladies that the product they present you, is the standard form of American Beauty. Also I’m not offended at all, I’ll try to use my laptop from now on when posting. Thanks for the support.
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You are such a lovely brother. Thank you for not being offended. You make such good points – you are a real THINKER aren’t you? It’s true Black women have a tendency to look down on each other. When I was much, much, much younger lol I was sitting in school assembly and three Black girls were sitting behind me. I’m sitting there minding my own business, not troubling them and all of a sudden I hear this comment: “Look pon her. De lang nose biitch” What was that all about? Yes I have long black hair and a straight nose, but does that warrant that kind of reaction? If we can’t support each other in the classroom, how are we ever going to support each other in the world?
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Yea I’m very methodic about alot of things. I think colorism exists due to insecurities within others. I understand both sides of the coin in the light vs dark debate. Sometimes you can’t just be black and shy around other blacks because they feel like you’re “better” than them. We are too judgemental about people we’ve never met. It’s not only Black women however, it’s women in general. It’s just the portrayal of black women. (Thanks basketball wives, madea, real housewives, etc) American society don’t want to promote black women disagreeing amicably. American society doesn’t want to see Black men work together.
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