Tareau Barron

Movie Review Almost Christmas 


Siggghhhhh, who would of thought my punk ass would ever become a jerk who reviews things. You can go to anyone else’s site for their opinion but no, you clicked on my post didn’t ya? Ok I’ll humor you. I’ll start doing movie reviews. I am a cinemark member and there is a movie theater up the street from my job. I love going to the movies when it’s just me and old people in the theater. I don’t know how you watch films, but me, I love the previews and the theater surround sound. Movies hypnotize me and I can get lost in a film. Ok enough of that mushy stuff let’s get down to business:

Look at the stub below. Notice how movies have assigned seating now? Yea wtf, assigned seating. What if you want to change seats? Siiiiggghh


Ok so this movie, Almost Christmas bored me. It felt like This Christmas  or 1st Sunday mixed together. Typical Black family drama during the holidays. Cooking, Church, Fighting etc. Too predictable with this great cast. The premise, Danny Glover’s loving wife passed away and their 5 children is coming home to Birmingham Alabama for the holidays. Mo’nique played Glover’s sister in law who was actually funny in this film but that’s about it. Gabrielle Union played herself as she always do in every black movie. A self righteous, uptight, independent sistah, who can never find a good man. Danny Glover is the main character whose wife died and is trying to get the family together for one last Christmas before selling the house. This movie was boring but I still supported because it is a Black movie. I give it a C-. And that’s being generous. So if you don’t see this movie, honestly you are not missing anything. the whole movie feels like a bad Soul Food episode. Danny Glover frantically looking for his deceased wife sweet potato pies recipe. Gabrielle Union and Kimberly Elise are the siblings who can not get alone for anything and end up reconciling towards the end (typical). I did manage to sneak in a Butterfinger and a egg nog shake.

Well there’s my half ass review. If you have anything to *yawn* Yes I just yawned. Anyways you know what to do.

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35 comments

  2. Lol, good review bro. I may steer clear of this film now. I swear there are only two templates for scripts, and all directors do is make minor changes to the scene and characters lol. The white films are wild predictable too so I won’t just condemn our people lol. As a people our imagination keeps returning to the same themes time after time. We need to think more outside the box

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    • I still supported it though because we’ll I wanted too hahahahag. Movies are not original like they were due to box office standards. Every movie is the #1 movie in the world for about 2 weeks, the title doesn’t even mean anything anymore. Also I hate that you only have a short window to watch a movie. It’s usually a month. Dam I wanted to see Jason Bourne but it’s on DVD already. Lmfao.

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  3. Nooooo! Say it aint so😕lol. Ok so I seen it too and I was let down a bit. It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t movie ticket price worthy. The thing I liked most about the movie was Mo’nique. She was so hilarious to me!!! If it weren’t for her I’d give it a D. Great cast for sure though.

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    • Hahahahaha exactly. There is eye candy for men and women too. It was just too predictable. Does all black movies have to be based off singing and cooking? Like is that our distraction from reality?

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      • Right! If not singing and cooking, it’s sports, drugs or gang violence. Or some white savior like in Dangerous Minds. Oh and the ever popular slave depictions.

        I did enjoy Queen of Katwe and I’m looking forward to Fences and Hidden Figures.

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      • I’m sooooooooooo mad that Queen of Katwe was only in theaters for 3 weeks here. I missed it. Thanks disney. On our last podcast, Dave and I talked about that as well. Can u name any black shoes in TV that’s positive? I can only name 4. Blackish, Queen Sugar, The Carmichael Show, and Rosewood.

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      • Out of those four, I only watch Queen Sugar. I used to watch Blackish. [Don’t know what happened. Might get back into it.] And on Rosewood, isn’t Chestnut’s character with a non-Black woman? I’ll pass on that, unless I’m thinking of the wrong show..

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      • What about the Carmichael show? I admit that I do watch scandal and how to get away with murder but I don’t like shonda rhymes vision of a white male always being the savior and the black males are dogs. It is good tv however but it also promotes the stereotype that successful black women are promiscuous whores who are validated by white men.

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      • I’m in complete agreement. They’re promoting one kind of Black woman and it never works out with the Black men. Ever. That’s the only way a Black woman can get all this time, money and attention for her projects. I used to love Scandal when it was more case based; then it became a telenovela with all the Fitz drama. No gracias! And when Viola kissed that lady, I was done with HTGAWM too. We just.. stay losing.

        And I don’t watch much tv but I have seen previews for the Carmichael Show + it looks funny, I’ve just never had the desire to watch it. I’ll make it a point to peep one of these days. Thanks for the recommendation.

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      • I like Atlanta and Insecure but I think their seasons are done for the year. The rest of the time I’m watching HGTV, Travel Channel, Animal Planet and The Food Network ahahaha

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      • Preach I love my wilderness shows. I watch alot of cartoons also. And old tv shows like married with children, mama’s family, the Jaime Foxx show etc.

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      • ALL of that! They all had positive images and spoke on an array of real issues, not always just for laughs, you know. Roc was also one of my favs that I appreciate more now.

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  7. First off – assigned seating is the shit lol. I go to one theater that requires paid parking JUST so I don’t have to hunt for an empty seat before a movie haha. But you have a point – if you want to change seats, its over for ya.

    I enjoyed this movie so much because it gave me a great laugh. But you’re spot on – super predictable and unfortunately you’re right…church, fighting and cooking lmao. But Gabrielle Union’s character – self righteous?! You sure about that?! *sigh* how quickly we assign that label to women who just have trust issues smh. 🙂

    Side note – this movie had me at home attempting sweet potato pie recipe’s all week lmao.

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